Saturday, February 22, 2003
Very small snippet off Crystal Palace
. Actually, it's all that comes to mind.
"I. Have been long tired of shutting up and getting shut out. When Sakura found Li and Touya found Yukito and you found your Kaho and Mother found Fujitaka-sensei. Hell, even Kero-chan has Spinel-san. I'm tired of all of you leaving me alone to fend for myself. So maybe I should leave all of you alone first. You probably won't even notice," Tomoyo muttered bitterly.
Eriol looked at her, at the glass in her hand, at the hair over her shoulder, at the bar, the table top, the world in general.
Then he began.
"There was once a time I would have given you the world.--
That's it. I'm useless.
She gunned them down | 1:03 AM
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
And an update; with fic snippet, for fic:
Snippet: Crystal Palace
an Eriol x Tomoyo by Ekai Ungson
standard disclaimers apply
For Chelle-san, and Circe-san. I can only hope to be as good as they are. I can only thank them for lending me light.
The liquor scorches her tongue, burns a blazing trail down her throat, and settles in her stomach. She raises the shot glass to her dazed eyes, finds it empty, and waves the bartender over for another one.
"Tomoyo-san, I think that's enough," whispered a voice in her ear.
She swiveled, the effort almost causing her to topple over. A pair of strong arms caught her, and she smiled. He never failed. Never.
"Well, if it isn't you, Eriol-san," she said, her words slurring. "Come to be my knight in shining armor, then?"
"Tomoyo-san, it's time for you to go home," he only said firmly, trying to get her to cooperate.
"Le'mme go. I don't want to go," she answered stubbornly. She beat her hands at his chest. "Le'mme go, dammit, Hiiragizawa. Who do you think you are?"
He set her back down on the bar stool, careful not to let her fall again, and sat down next to her. "Tomoyo-san, you're drunk," he said caalmly.
"I'm aware of that, thanks," she snapped.
"Then why don't you stop?"
She turned to him. "Has it ever occurred to you, Hiiragizawa, that I might be here for that sole purpose?" She punctuated the remark with a gulp off her glass. Vodka, he noted idly. How long had she been here?
"Don't you want any?" she asked in a little girl's voice.
He shook his head.
"Well, that's you," she said, shrugging. "Prim and proper Hiiragizawa Eriol. I think--"
He looked at her, eyes bloodshot and unfocused, fingers twined around the glass as if holding on for dear life. "You think?"
"I think that's what I loved about you, Eriol-san."
She gunned them down | 7:02 PM
I am ficcing ExT for Chelle
She gunned them down | 6:41 PM
Monday, February 17, 2003
I ficced Draco/Gin. ^-^ It's up.
She gunned them down | 1:18 AM
Monday, February 10, 2003
I've been looking for good fic to read for the next hour or two but so far I haven't found anything worthy of note. The CCS fandom languishes.
My eyes hurt and I need a cheese stick. It gets that way when you want to READ good fic and not slay 'em.
She gunned them down | 9:20 PM
Sunday, February 09, 2003
ExT fic, btw, is over here
She gunned them down | 6:43 PM
I fic CCS. Mainly because Draco/Gin refuses movement and Skuld-fic sounds terrible. Gah. Original fic was coming along nicely last week but then again that was a depressed me writing. I managed a load of crap before quitting.
And now, a rant before I move on.
I seem to be receiving a lot of questions about my writing style. Something to the effect that I write too much angst.
The Explanation to End All Explanations
I think romance is highly overrated.
Romance, love's counterfeit free of charge to all. Only find the right boy, only find the right girl, and precious delirium will be yours. It's been done and redone five hundred billion times that the very words "I love you" don't mean the same as they should. They're worn out now, by repetition and by strain.
Most fics in the area of specialty I, shall we say, thrive in, tend towards the path of "get it on already, whoo-hoo!". Where every other narrative takes one from point a.) [boy meets girl] to point b.) [boy and girl live happily ever after]. It's tedious. It's boring.
So I write the way I do. I tear apart what fandoms put together. I destroy what the masses have thrown with each other. Why?
Because pain is so much more exquisite; that pain is so much more hard-hitting and brutal than your every other day E/T narrative. Because nobody can hide from pain.
Sometimes I think maybe it's me. Maybe I've been so used to the concept of despair that it is everything I write about because it's all that I know. But then I got to thinking-- so what?
And sometimes I think I'm doing it for the sake of originality. Sometimes I think I'm doing it because no one else is doing it because they're all so busy plotting up ways of how to best bring out Tomoyo's dark side (has anyone yet seen the masses' new brainstorm? Tomoyo as a gang leader. Brilliant. >.>) and then get her banged up with Eriol.
What do I do? I write "City of Angels", that's what.
Nowadays I hardly find anything in the realms of fanfiction pages worthy of note. Everything seems as if it were the same thing as yesterday and the day before that. The repetition isn't emphasizing the point, it's straining it.
The words "I love you" have been said, time and again, without real meaning.
Maybe it IS me. Maybe because when I say "I love you" I want to mean it, with all my soul on the line, and know that it doesn't count for anything in the world but that one moment.
[has just woken up and is probably rambling incoherently] 020403
She gunned them down | 6:41 PM